The foundation of right speech is deep listening. Our speech does not occur in a vacuum — it must include our awareness of others. When people don’t feel heard they become isolated and unhappy. Their work suffers, and the work of everyone around them suffers as well. Right speech means being present and meeting each person and each situation directly. Since each person has different communication and listening styles, right speech is the practice of speaking to each person in a way that best reaches and affects that person in each situation, while at the same time being true to yourself.

Sometimes we can use speech to hide our feelings and intentions. We often do this by asking questions instead of just saying what we want, see, or feel. Other times we block out others’ viewpoints by not asking questions and by forcefully entering others’ space. Practicing right speech entails including many views and expressing information and feeling in a way that is clear, direct, and effective.

There is a Zen story about two groups of monks arguing over a cat. The teacher, in response to the conflict, picks up the cat in one hand and a knife in the other. He says to the group of monks, “Say something of the truth of Zen, or I will cut the cat in half.” No one said anything, and the cat was killed. (Remember, this is a story — I’ve always imagined that the teacher pretended to kill the cat.) Later, the teacher was describing this event to one of his most revered students. Upon hearing what had happened, this student, without saying a word, took off his sandals, put them on his head, and left the room. The teacher said, “If only you had been there, the cat would have been saved.”

The definition of right speech is to:
- speak truthfully, being loyal to the truth when speaking with others
- not creating harm or speaking cruelly
- not exaggerating or embellishing
- speaking in a way that relieves suffering and brings people back to themselves.

Being Loyal to the Truth - Saying what you know to be true and not saying what is not true is a clear and powerful practice — and much more difficult than you might imagine. When we speak truthfully we become worthy of trust, and the people around us feel cared for and safe.

Not Creating Harm - Our words have the power to cause tremendous harm or tremendous healing. I’ve seen much pain caused in the work environment by people not being careful with speech and underestimating the power of words. Even when we have no intention to cause harm, our words may affect our colleagues in ways that are completely outside our own experience or expectations. I have noticed, as a manager and especially as “the boss,” that my words, particularly how I express my displeasure, can have a tremendous impact. I have learned the importance of giving great care to where, when, and how I express my insights regarding performance or behaviors that need to be changed or improved.

Not Exaggerating - So often in business, people describe situations and outcomes in ways that make themselves or their projects appear more successful or more certain then they really are. I have also noticed that people sometimes make tasks appear more difficult and complicated then they actually are as a way to protect themselves from criticism or from being given additional work. The word spin, meaning to put a positive — or negative — light on a situation, has recently been in vogue,. Spin is just a euphemism for exaggeration.

Relieving Suffering - Our speech has the potential to provide comfort, positive challenge, and transformation in our work environment. By speaking clearly and directly from our hearts, we can touch the people around us and turn suffering into acceptance and joy. Just listening fully to others is often enough to relieve suffering. This requires stopping and just being with another person, in whatever state they are in.

Notice how you speak to others and how others speak to you. Just notice. Notice how your speech varies with whomever you are speaking — someone whom you report to, who reports to you, a family member. Try speaking directly and openly. Take risks with your words by speaking openly from your heart. Notice how your words touch and affect people. Experiment with beginning your sentences with the words “I want,” “I need,” and “I feel.” Make statements instead of asking questions. Use your speech to be clear, open, direct, and vulnerable.

What does right speech mean to you? What is your definition?